The Importance Of Really Listening

I tell you, you listen you learn. You talk, you teach.

Paul Castellano

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus held that humans have two ears and one mouth so we could listen twice as much as we speak. Paul Castellano, a former poultry packing executive and associate of the late Carlo Gambino, would  probably concur. Aware of the dangers brought on by unguarded comments, Castellano encouraged associates to be circumspect in their speech.

However, real listening, as author Simon Sinek points out, is more than just waiting for your turn to talk. For Castellano, real listening allowed him to glean as much information as possible from those around him, whether they intended to share it or not, and apply it in a profitable manner. It also kept him in tune with the agendas of rivals and subordinates. As Thelonious Monk once said, “Just because you’re not a drummer, doesn’t mean you don’t have to keep time.”

Castellano lived in a period when many believed a secret was something to be shared with only a person or two. For him, that would be two too many. He was particularly worried that unnecessary chatter would lead to “teaching” trade secrets to those who were not on a need to know basis--such as the FBI.

The irony here is that the reason we have a record of Mr. Castellano’s musings on the need for discretion is because law enforcement had more bugs in his residence than one is likely to find in the proverbial cheap hotel.

Wiseguy Wisdom is a guide to personal growth based on books, movies and government tapes.